The 11th Husband

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to “Please be gentle; I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”

“Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he’d look into it and get back with me.

Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.

Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was … God I still miss him.

But now that I’ve married you, I’m so excited!”

“Wonderful!” said the husband. “But why?”

“You’re with the government … this time I KNOW I’m gonna get SCREWED!”

A Woman’s Darker Side

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second.

In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she’d be there as soon as possible. As she hung up she realized she was leaving what
was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques.

She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last
shop. She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband.
Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband’s condition.

The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, ‘You went ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn’t you! I hope you’re proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It’s just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!’

The woman was feeling so guilty, she broke down and sobbed.

The lady doctor then chuckled and said, ‘I’m just pulling your leg. He’s dead. Show me what you bought.’

WAYS TO PROPOSE A GIRL

1. Be yourself. This is the first rule that you need to get into your mind when you think of proposing a girl. Do not overdo your proposal. Keep it simple yet special and sweet. Be who you are, and in your own special way say those three golden words.

2. Another old way of proposing is going down on your knees with a red rose in your hand. Though this is an old way of proposing, this still goes down the line and is bound to impress any girl.

3. Make her feel special by taking her out for a quiet romantic dinner. Prepare well and have her favorite dishes ordered for the two of you. Have her favorite music playing in the background and find a nice romantic moment to propose her. She will definitely be moved by the effort that you would have taken for arranging the special dinner.

4. You can get a banner prepared with the word I Love You and have it displayed outside her house or in the workplace. It is advised that you do not use her real name on the banner, but use the endearment that you generally use to call her.

5. Take her to the place where you met each other for the first time. Recreate the same moment and then propose to her. It will definitely move her and get embossed on her memory for lifetime.

6. If it is possible for you and you can afford it, have your proposal written on the sky. You can contact the skywriting company and have it arranged when the two of you are together.

7. You can make arrangement for asking your neighbors to put off their lights and have the windows lit up in the words I Love You. Take her to the balcony and open her eyes when everything is set. She will definitely love this.

8. You can drive to the beach in the evening and with some romantic soft music playing. Just as the sun is going down whisper the three words that she is longing to hear in her ears. This will definitely make her melt.

9. If both of you are the adventurous kinds, then you can plan an early morning trek to a nearby place, and when the sun is rising go on your knees and propose her on top of the summit.

10. If you want to make it dramatic and funny, then you can have a water gun and hold it out on her and say you are under arrest, and when she is all shocked and panicky then say for stealing my heart and say out I Love You.

True Happiness

The smile across her face is reflected in her eyes,
This happiness she has, it’s not a lie.
If she could, she would scream and jump for joy,
But this happiness is not coming from a toy.
Her cheeks hurt for smiling so long,
I think she might start to sing a song.
A song about true happiness,
A feeling that she found in her heart.
This happiness, she wants everyone to be apart of.
This happiness is never to be taken away,
She wants it so badly to stay.
For all her life she’s been sad and lonely,
But she finally found a cure,
So please don’t ruin it for her.

I’ll Be Waiting

Look out to the horizon,
A whole world lies beyond,
The path of life shall guide you,
And move you swiftly on,
There’s new things to discover,
And unseen sights to see,
But always I’ll be waiting,
For when you return to me.
The road stretches before you,
No one knows just how far,
And whatever may befall you,
Just remember who you are,
If others try to change you,
Think who you want to be,,
And I’ll be right here waiting,
For when you return to me.
You’ll find you’ve reached your limit,
When you can go no more,
And you’ll always have the memories,
Of good times you’ve had before,
So when your journey’s ending,
And you’ve managed to break free,
Just remember I’m here waiting,
For when you’re back here with me.

A Place in My Heart

I love you my friend,
Though you are far away.
I love you my friend,
In so many ways.

I do not recall.
I can’t tell you when
This love it did grow
Or how did it begin.

But your words reach across
The miles that do separate
It’s your friendship I cherish
And want to celebrate

The everyday moments
That together are spent
The times that we laugh,
The times that we vent.

I want you to know
That however apart
You always will have
A place in my heart.

IN MY DREAMS

The girl of my dreams is a girl who wears a pink dress
A dress which will be of beautiful pink colour.
Beautiful and pink, will be the attire of the girl of my dreams
A colour so very pink, and so very beautiful
Will be this beautiful pink colour.
A girl who will look so beautiful, in her lovely pink dress
As pink is the colour of beauty and grace.
Colour, which is pink, looks so beautiful on every girl
Since a girl who is beautiful, is always full of beauty in her heart too
As true beauty, is the beauty which lies in the heart
Is the reason, the girl who has a beautiful heart is my girl.
In my dreams this girl always appears as beautiful, really very beautiful she is
Every time, I dream of this beautiful girl, as she lives in my dreams.

WAITING FOR HER

all evening he waited
anxiously eyeing the clock
retracing his steps
over and over
counting the minutes
until her arrival

kneeling before a crackling fire
adding another log
he rose to check again
his preparations for tonight

the thick sheepskin rug
lay lovingly spread before the flames
waiting for her

the book
the one she longed after
in that tiny shop downtown
rested on the warm stone hearth
waiting for her

the wine
that special bottle
from a few years ago
late fall harvest
sat open
and sweet
waiting for her

the glasses
his best crystal
sat sparkling in the firelight
waiting for her

his hand
stopped a moment
over his heart
and lovingly fingered
the prize there
hidden away in his pocket
where it lay
waiting for her

taking the ring
from its secret place
he gazed at it
mesmerized by its shine
by what it stood for
soon he smiled and
softly slipped it back
to its repose
where it lay
waiting for her

seating himself back on the chair
he resumed his vigil
over the fire
over the wine
over the clock
over himself

and he sat
quiet and lost in thought
waiting for her

THE FIRST RAIN

I saw the first drops of water kissing mother Earth,
I saw her open up her arms and embrace every drop with care and warmth....

Droplets turned into drizzle and soon the brown carpet turned red,
As the ground soaked itself more and more with every minute that sizzled....

The trees shed away their weariness and cleansed themselves,
In the purest form of water pouring right from the skies....

The birds woke up from their slumber and peeked out of their nests,
Happy to see the rain which would in turn drive out many pests....

The animals jumped across to wet themselves,
To clean their bodies in the only natural shower that transpires....

It was indeed a lovely sight, indeed a lovely watch,
The glory of the first rain, nothing else can dare to match....

ODISHA

This is my 2nd post. I am still confused on what to write, but i preferred to write about my state orissa. Geographically speaking Orissa, is a state of India, located on the east coast of India, by the Bay of Bengal. It is the modern name of the ancient nation of Kalinga, which was invaded by the Maurya Emperor Ashoka in 261 BC. The modern state of Odisha was established on 1 April 1936 at Kanika Palace, Cuttack as a province in India, and consists, predominantly of Odia speakers. 1 April is therefore celebrated as Utkal Divas (Odisha Day). It is the ninth largest state by area in India, and the eleventh largest by population. Odia is the official and most widely spoken language. Odisha has a relatively unindented coastline (about 480 km lonG and lacks good ports, except for the deepwater facility at Paradip. The narrow, level coastal strip, including the Mahanadi River delta supports the bulk of the population. The interior of the state is mountainous and sparsely populated. Deomali at 1672 m is the highest point of the state.
Odisha has a history spanning a period of over 3,000 years.The history of Odisha is in many ways atypical from that of the northern plains, and many of the common generalizations that are made about Indian history do not seem to apply to the Odia region. The name Odia originated from Odra or Udra tribes that inhabited the central belt (Angul, Dhenkanal, Nayagarh ) of modern Odisha.
Bhubaneshwar is the capital of Odisha. It is famed for its magnificent temples, numbering around a thousand. Cuttack, the former capital of Odisha, is 22 km from Bhubaneshwar. With the rapid expansion of two cities and better road connectivity, the two cities are now almost conjoined and considered as twin cities. The city of Puri is about 60 kilometers from Bhubaneshwar and lies on the coast of the Bay of Bengal. Puri is considered a holy city and the abode of the deity Lord Jagannath. It is one of the Char Dhams (Four holy places) of Hinduism. The world-famous "car festival" (rath yatra) is celebrated every year in the Hindu month of Ashadha (Mid June to Mid July) in Puri.
Thats just a short blog on my state, if i write more it would take years to complete . Hope you guys liked my blog. Thanks

M a blogger Finally

So m a blogger finally. dunno what this blogging actually means, but still i joined blogging. Thnaks to my friend i joined blogging. Yet to decide on what i should write though. I have decided to write about myself in my first blog. M just another normal INDIAN who is still a student. Got lotsa bad habits, trying to rectify them now. Addicted to the internet stuff, believe in flirting, write non-sense, love to have fun, spend my dad's money etc and etc, the list just continues. but still i am trying to rectify myseelf. Hope it works out. I am sure u guys must not have liked my 1st blog post, but i promise to write productive